Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Cock Fights and Ole Boys

A little story involving 2 brothers, 20 bags of raked leaves, and my relationship to the all of the above...
Flashback to October: It is a crisp fall day, and MH, SG and I are raking leaves at the Mountain Magnolia in Hot Springs. Our buddy, local Hot Springs character, CP emerges from nowhere, as usual and starts up the usual small talk. "Mar-Ellen, is Deena workin you too hard?" "Deena, I ain't seen you in a while- war you been?" "I thought I'd better come aggravate you'uns or you'd think I was mad atcha." And so on. This goes on for the typical 5-10 minutes before the point begins getting hinted at. First he asks if we had raked in front of the Garden House. No. Then he asked if we were going to. Yes. Then he asked who was going to do it. Don't know. I realize that he wants to rake it, but he isn't going to ask. I'm not going to bring it up, so small talk continues for a time. Finally he says the reason he's asking is because he needs 5 more bags of leaves "because a feller says he'll buy ten bags of leaves off me for $10 a bag, " and he already has 5 bags raked and bagged. I asked him, "What kind of feller is gonna buy bags of leaves off of you for $100 in the middle of fall?" He says, " a feller out in Tennessee." I ask if this is a certain feller that I might know. Yes. I say "Why in the world would this particular feller pay $100 for leaves in the middle of fall when he lives in the woods???" The answer: all of that feller's leaves fell in the creek.
Well, this conversation is getting long and ubsurd, so I tell CP that he is free to rake and bag all the leaves he wants from the Inn's property, but if he is selling them for $10 a bag, I'm not going to pay him to rake. He seems pleased, and so am I. Before I get back to work I ask one last question: "Why does this particular feller want these leaves so bad?" It is a question that, once I know the answer, I regret having asked. The feller wants the leaves to take down to the cock fights and put in the pit so the roosters can have something to scratch up before they kill each other...

Flash forward. It is late December, a few days before Christmas. It morning in the Smokey Mountain Diner, and I am waiting for biscuits to go. PP, the youngest brother of CP, walks in, and we sit together, making small talk and catching up on local gossip. After a few pleasant minutes of this, PP, starts to talk about something curious- 10 bags of leaves. He says, " I have ten bags of leaves that I need to get rid of by tomorrow." I don't think much of it, and I don't really respond. So he says it again. And again. Finally I ask him what he is talking about. He says he has been saving 10 bags of leaves for "that ole boy, the one you know" for his garden. I ask him which ole boy he is referring to, and he just keeps saying "that ole boy, the one you know" over and over, like I am responsible not only for knowing which ole boy he is talking about, but for the fact that, whoever the ole boy is, he has not come for his 10 bags of leaves like he said he would. Finally he tells me it is the ole boy who sells fruit down at the Post Office, and I realize who he is speaking of. He just keeps telling me over and over that the "ole boy said he would be by for his leaves, but he hasn't come yet." I suggest maybe the ole boy is under the weather, but , no, PP just saw the ole boy and he was fine. Then PP starts telling me how "the ole boy's garden really isn't that far away, just a block or 2," and I realize he wants me to offer to come move the leaves over to the ole boy's garden in my pick-up truck.
Once I realize this is what he is after, I silently scold myself for being so slow-witted so as to have missed the clues for so long, and I promptly volunteer to go by the next day and move the 10 bags of leaves.
My biscuits came, and I left the Diner wondering how I managed to get involved in 2 different strange situations involving 10 bags of leaves with these brothers in such a short amount of time.
Unfortunately, I started puking the next day, and was unable to fulfill my commitment. I wonder if PP is down at the Diner right now saying something to someone like, " Well, that lady, the one you know, was supposed to come by and pick up these 10 bags of leaves to take over to that ole boy..." I also wonder how many cocks have been killed so far in Mountain Magnolia's maple leaves...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

oooh, Dana, only you would find yourself in such a cunundrum! Got your package today and intend to use all products at least once before bedtime in the next 15 minutes! Hurray! Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

Hey Dana! I've tagged you for a meme-thingy. You can read the rules on today's post.

amy said...

hilarious story!

and my hair feels terrific :)

Alice (in BC Canada) said...

I am totally against cock fights and other such complete cruelty to animals!!! That being said, I loved your story. You are really a good writer.