Slingshot repair

So over the past 10 years, I have been friends with and become quite comfortable with the "M" family. They are the ones with all the goats, for all you people who know them... I have spent many a morning, afternoon and evening sitting around their kitchen with them, chewing the fat, cracking jokes, eating good food, bantering with the whole clan, watching the girls grow up, etc. About a week or 2 ago, I was at the kitchen table, chatting with RM and the girls, and I was mindlessly playing with some weird tool device that was on the table. When RM noticed me messing with it, she developed a big shit eating grin and informed me that it was a castrating device that she had just used on the goats that morning. I put it down. RM went on to explain how it works. It has 4 little prong-nubs around which you attach a tiny, thick rubber band. Then you squeeze the handles and the nubs move apart, thus stretching the rubber band open. The rubber band is stretched open enough to place over the testicles of the poor young goat, where it is left to cut off the circulation of the balls for the next 3-4 weeks. During that time, the balls shrivel up and eventually fall off. Delightful.

Flash forward to last night. I was getting ready to go to a party of young hip Hot Springs people (peers), and I heard that they were going to have lots of alcohol and maybe paintballs. Well, the thought of quantities of alcohol didn't excite me much, and neither did the paintballs- that is until I spotted my slingshot while I was getting ready. Slingshotting paintballs is really fun. However, my slingshot has been in disrepair for almost a year because the rubber broke and I got some replacement rubber, but I couldn't get the damned thing on because the rubber tubing was too damn tight to slide over the nubs. Do you see where this is going? The castrating device flashed into my head, and visions of slingshot paintballs flooded my psyche... I rushed up the road to RM's kitchen with my slingshot and replacement rubber tubing in tow. Sure enough, after several tries, the tubing was effectively placed on the slingshot nubs with the castrating device. I was very delighted.

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As it turned out, repairing the slingshot with the goat castrating device was by far the best thing that happened to me last night. I went to the party with SM (bless her heart) and after a couple hours of being caught in the middle of a big ass water balloon and water gun fight, I had an asthma attack (induced by a combination of very vigorous air guitar which left me breathless and then way too much second hand cigarette smoke) and left before dusk became dark. I didn't even shoot my slingshot once.