Mercury? Retrograde?

People like to go around blaming human weirdness on the planets. Like, for example, last night. SG and I decided to watch Pirates of the Caribbean on DVD. We decided to watch it outside on her back deck on her computer. The air was fresh and cool and the moon was out. We got all cozy with sleeping bags and lawn chairs, and cookies. We went to press play, and the computer wouldn't do anything. We messed with it for 20 minutes or so, and finally decided the computer was screwed up and went inside to watch it on the TV/DVD player. Well, we got all settled in there and hit play, and the movie came on. Ahh, the movie was just beginning when for some reason the sound of Pirates of the Caribbean stayed on, but the picture switched over to a movie that was in the VHS player- David Attenborough's The Life of Mammals. Suddenly we were watching a beaver frantically chew a piece of wood, while hearing the dramatic music of the intended Feature Presentation. We enjoyed that for a moment, laughing our asses off, and then SG somehow fixed the problem. We turned the movie back on, and settled in once again. In about 5 or less minutes the TV blew out. Just quit. Forever. SG checked everything. It was dead. We moved back outside to the back deck and got my computer out. This was our last resort because my computer's volume is so low, it's nearly impossible to listen to a movie. But we were so invested by that point nothing was going to stop us. We turned my computer on, popped the video in, leaned in so we could sort of hear, and we were off. It was spectacular. Johnny Depp with his eye shadow. Keira whatever her name is doing whatever she does, which seems to be the same in every movie. Hollywood at its finest. Every time a train or a car went by we couldn't hear the movie, but it was sort of OK because it was so predictable. About halfway through, we started hearing mysterious noises coming from the back of the yard. We turned the movie off and listened for a while. It was some weird animal noises. We thought maybe cats, but, no, it wasn't cats. After a few rounds of the noises, I crept back there to investigate. There were cats back there, but they were silent. Finally we realized the animal noises were coming from inside a neighbor's house, and it was nothing other than 2 middle aged hillbillies making whoopy. We turned the movie back on and finished it. Supposedly all the glitches that accompanied that movie viewing were because of Mercury in Retrograde.